Promises Broken, Promises Made
by Denise
Summary: A surprise visitor to Gull Cottage bring Captain Gregg and Carolyn Muir closer together.


Promises Broken, Promises MadeBy Denise Rushton

For select distribution only

"Richard, Richard!"

The words rang out through the dark bedroom, breaking through the silence of the early dawn, and their speaker woke herself up in saying them. Carolyn Muir sat bolt upright and looked around the bedroom, trying to see if anything was out of place, or if anything that shouldn't be there was. Seeing nothing amiss, her thoughts turned to her children and Martha—she hoped she had not awoken them.

She felt a blush creep across her cheeks as she tried to convince herself that nobody heard her cry out. She lay back down and rearranged the pillow under her head, closing her eyes but knowing that sleep would not come. "This is the third time this week that I've had this dream," she muttered, "Why am I thinking about Richard now?"

Richard Muir was Carolyn's husband until his untimely death in an automobile accident a couple of years before. In order to escape the memories of the past, Carolyn had packed up her children, their housekeeper Martha, and a few possessions and moved from Philadelphia to Schooner Bay, Maine soon after his death.

Though at the time she rationalized it as a chance to give the children a fresh start, in reality it was Carolyn's way of putting the pain of her unhappy marriage behind her. Outwardly, Carolyn and Richard looked like the perfect couple, but their marriage changed soon after Candy was born. Richard couldn't deal with the responsibility of marriage and a family, and avoided those responsibilities by staying increasingly longer hours at work, a situation only worsened by the arrival of Jonathan.

Though Philadelphia was a big city, Carolyn eventually heard the rumor that Richard was up to a whole lot more with his secretary than giving her dictation. However, when confronted, Richard contentiously refused to give Carolyn a divorce, yet would not give up his girlfriend. He was afraid of what people in their circle might say if they divorced, and his total disregard of Carolyn's feelings in that awkward situation laid the groundwork for almost daily arguments between the pair. 

These constant battles adversely affected the children. Candy especially was withdrawn from her father during the few occasions he was around, and Jonathan often had nightmares. Carolyn did what she could to reassure her children, but they all realized the words rang hollow in light of the reality of Richard's actions. In desperation, she finally sent the children with Martha to stay with her parents for a little while. She thought that maybe with some time alone with Richard they would be able to put their marriage back on the right track. That was not to be.

Their fights continued and now that the children weren't around, Richard lost any pretense of sobriety during their screaming matches. After one particularly nasty fight, Richard grabbed the car keys and ran out the front door. As he was completely drunk, Carolyn tried to stop him but he pushed her to the ground and jumped into his Porsche, and sent it screaming down the street. 

Unhurt, physically at least, Carolyn ran back into the house and up to the master bedroom where she flung herself on top of the bed and began sobbing. She was horrified at how their relationship had sunk to a new low—no matter how much screaming they did, he had never gotten physically abusive with her.

She was still sobbing an hour later, when she heard a knock at the door. Thinking they would go away if she ignored it, she did not answer it. However, the knocking persisted and finally Carolyn lifted herself from the bed and to the front door, and opened it to find two police officers on the steps of her home.

From the looks on their faces, Carolyn immediately expected the worst, and was not at all surprised when the officers told her that Richard had been in a serious automobile accident. Fortunately, nobody else was hurt in the crash, but he was barely clinging to life. They helped her into her coat and took her to the hospital.

Carolyn never could recall the trip to the hospital nor how she finally got to the room where Richard was, but the sight of him on the bed, bloody and battered, with numerous tubes stuck in his body was one which would be burned into her memory forever. 

She sat by his bed and looked at him in confusion, seeking a part of him she could touch without causing him further pain. She gently placed her hand on his forearm, carefully avoiding the tube stuck in the crook of his elbow, when she heard him make a noise and she looked at his face.

Richard's eyes were open and she saw something different in them, something she had not seen there for a long time. His words were slurred from the drugs they gave him for the pain and the alcohol he imbibed before the accident, but at long last he said the words Carolyn had longed to hear.

"I'm so sorry," he choked, breathing heavily, "…sorry for everything. I love you, Carolyn, please…forgive me."

Carolyn looked into Richard's eyes as he spoke those words and saw that he meant them. As she replied in a choked voice that she forgave him and would always love him, she saw a look of peace fill them and it was then that she knew he would die.

With tears falling from her bright green eyes, she pleaded with him to hang on and fight to live and stay with her and their children. But with a tiny smile crossing his lips when he heard she forgave him, his eyes closed and he let out his last breath.

"Richard, Richard!" she screamed, desperately trying to bring him back.

****************************

The sad memories crowded Carolyn's mind and she tossed and turned on the bed, trying futilely to get a little more sleep before the alarm clock signaled the start of her day. Quietly, a figure watched her struggle from the bay window, where he had stood invisibly since he heard her cry out. "How can I help you, Madame?" he whispered to himself, "If only I could do something to ease your pain." 

Captain Daniel Gregg watched as a beam of early dawn sunlight stretched across the room and fell upon the bed. It turned his attention to the outdoors, where he studied the beach and the crashing waves, and tried to collect his thoughts. He had felt strange for a number of days now. Originally, he thought it was simply being upset from seeing what Carolyn was going through and being unable to help her. In addition, he had to suffer in silence with the feelings of jealousy that poisoned his mind now that he realized that Carolyn still had thoughts about her late husband.

But now he realized it was more than that. He had a premonition that something very wrong was going to happen at Gull Cottage—and he was frustrated that he couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was. It was so odd-the other night when the full moon was out, he couldn't shake the feeling that there was another presence in the house.

*****************************

"Mrs. Muir, are you alright? You look like something the cat dragged in," Martha caught sight of Carolyn when she entered the kitchen, and immediately saw the dark circles under her eyes.

"Don't worry about me, Martha, I'm fine. Just a bit of a restless night. Where are the kids?"

"I guess they're still upstairs. I was going to call them in a few minutes. I know they like to dawdle a bit before they start off for school, but the past few days they've outdone themselves at it." Martha took that opportunity to call Candy and Jonathan, as long as she had it on her mind, and the pair trudged down the stairs a couple of minutes later.

"Alright, sit down you two, and start eating. You've got to start out for school soon," cajoled Martha, and the children halfheartedly sat down to their cereal. Carolyn was sitting at the table, barely noticing the kids as she absently stirred her coffee. When they finished their food and picked up their books and lunch boxes, they stood at the door of the kitchen expectantly, waiting for Carolyn to give them a kiss and wish them a good day. When Martha realized that Carolyn was lost in thought, she whispered to the children to just let their mother be, and shooed them out the door. "What is going on here?" Martha said under her breath.

The pair began their walk to school quietly, but Jonathan finally broke the silence, "Candy, do you know what? Last night I had a dream about Daddy coming to visit us. It was really weird."

Candy was so surprised at hearing about her brother's dream that she stopped dead in her tracks and almost dropped her books. At seeing the look of shock on Candy's face, Jonathan asked her what was wrong.

"Jonathan, you're not going to believe it, but I had a dream like that too a couple of nights ago, and it's like it kept going even when I had my eyes open."

"What do you mean?"

Candy looked off into the distance, trying to explain what she could not believe could be, and then turned back to Jonathan, "It was like Daddy was in the room with us, that I could see him. And I knew for sure that I was awake, because I pinched myself to make sure. He was there for a few minutes, and then he disappeared like Captain Gregg does."

"Did he say anything?"

"No, he just looked at me and then disappeared," Candy replied.

A frown crossed Jonathan's cherubic face, "Do you think we should tell Mommy?"

"NO!" Candy abruptly snapped. She was two and a half years older than Jonathan, and had a better recollection than he of the fights between their parents. But her voice softened as she realized that Jonathan would not be able to see the folly in such a move. Actually she didn't really understand it either, but deep down she knew it to be so, and instructed her brother accordingly, "Jonathan, let's keep this our secret, okay?"

"Okay, Candy," Jonathan mumbled halfheartedly as they continued on their way.

Unbeknownst to the children, Captain Gregg had been following them down the road. He stopped where he was and watched as Candy and Jonathan walked away. His eyes narrowed as he put the puzzle together, and he looked back at the house and uttered, "So where are you hiding, Richard Muir?"

The realization that Carolyn's deceased husband was lurking about Gull Cottage put the Captain in a quandary. True, Carolyn was Richard's wife and Candy and Jonathan his children, at least up until he died. In Daniel Gregg's mind, he had taken Richard's place and he was now left wondering if Richard was coming back to try and claim what was his. 

He was overcome with anger, sadness and confusion (not that he would ever admit to the latter) because he didn't know where he would stand in the new order of things to come. Carolyn had never spoken to the Captain about her marriage, so for all he knew it had been a happy one, and one thing the Captain was not was a home wrecker. But his heart was breaking at even the thought of losing her in this new turn of events.

The Captain returned to Gull Cottage and spotted Carolyn on the porch, and he materialized next to her as soon as Martha left for town to go shopping. After a moment, she noticed he was there and mumbled hello as she watched Martha drive off in the station wagon.

"Mrs. Muir, I must speak to you on a matter of the utmost import."

Irritatedly, she waved her hand at him, "Not now, Captain, I have things on my mind and I'm not up to a discussion right now."

"Things on your mind, like Richard, perhaps?" he retorted with a hint of jealousy in his tone. The words crashed into her consciousness like a bomb. Carolyn stammered, "How did you know?" but then realized he must have heard her the night before in the middle of her nightmare.

"I heard you call out to him last night," the Captain replied by way of confirmation, "but that's not all. Did you know the children have also seen him in their dreams?"

"What! Both of them?" Carolyn blurted, avoiding the Captain's eyes out of embarrassment that he had heard her cry out the night before, and a vague feeling of unfaithfulness. The Captain nodded his affirmation and added, "And I heard Candy say that he was in the room with her the other night."

Suddenly, an odd look of trepidation crossed Carolyn's face as she turned toward the house and said, part question, part statement of fact, "He's here."

"Yes, he's here," a third voice, tinged with sarcasm, broke into the conversation from the other side of the porch. The Captain and Carolyn whirled around and faced the ghost of Richard Muir.

"Carolyn, my darling, how lovely it is to see you again at last. Sir, would you excuse us while I speak to my wife," Richard said possessively.

"No, I will not. This is my house, Mr. Muir," the Captain replied obstinately in a cold voice. "Why are you here, Richard?" Carolyn asked, shooting a warning glance at the Captain.

"Carolyn, I had to see you, there are so many things that were left unresolved at the time of my untimely demise. This is my chance to work them out and reunite my little family," and with a barely concealed hint directed at Captain Gregg, "which I think would best be accomplished between us two alone."

Carolyn, sensing this situation would quickly develop into a battle of wills between the two men, diffused the situation as best she could by telling Richard they could speak down on the beach.

Captain Gregg watched enviously as Carolyn and Richard walked down to the water's edge. Upon reflection, it was probably a tactical error to let the pair go off to the beach. The sight brought back all the memories of those moonlight strolls he shared with Carolyn. He was inwardly fuming that this man could just waltz right back into Carolyn's life, and since they had been married when he was alive, it was like he had a right to be here now.

When they were a good distance from the house, Carolyn turned to Richard and asked again, none too politely, "Why are you here?"

"Carolyn, I want you to come back to Philadelphia, I want to be a part of the children's lives. Now that I've found you we can be a family again."

With a look of disbelief on her face at how delusional he was, Carolyn sputtered, "It's not that easy, after all you've done in the past. You can't just prance back in to our lives and expect everything to rearrange itself around you. Our lives have changed….not to mention that you're not even alive!"

Richard interrupted her, "You forgave me for the stuff I did, I heard you say that right before I died. You can't go back on that now!"

"I'm not—I did forgive you, but I can't forget. It was only when I got here that I really saw the damage you did to our children. Jonathan was starving for attention from a father figure, and it took Candy such a long time to be able to trust men again."

Richard was shocked silent for a while, pensively absorbing the information of how his behavior had adversely affected his children, and an inkling of suspicion entered his mind. "And precisely who helped my children with these 'difficulties'?" he snapped, trying to put Carolyn on the defensive.

Carolyn had been through enough verbal sparring with Richard to catch the underlying meaning in his question, and looked him in the eye unashamedly as she countered, "Captain Gregg did, as a matter of fact. He's the man you just met."

"Don't you mean the 'ghost' I just met, Carolyn. And as long as we're speaking of your friend, did he help **_you _**as well?" he asked sarcastically.

Carolyn could not help but blush as she recollected exactly how much Captain Gregg had indeed helped her. She had come to Schooner Bay believing that she would never again feel the joy of being alive, and the comfort of a companion who made her laugh and listened to her, but also challenged and sometimes provoked her—a man she could love with all her heart, and did.

She realized that she was taking too long to answer when she heard Richard prod her, "Well?"

"It's not what you think, he's just a ghost," she said vaguely, but Richard would not be dissuaded so easily.

"He's just a ghost, so am I. How come you let him into your life and won't let me? I am your husband, after all."

"You were my husband, but not anymore," she snapped, and then added by way of explanation, "You're dead, and as I recall our vows were until death do us part."

Richard sensed that Carolyn was trying to get rid of him, and hit on the most likely reason why she would do so, "So you're sleeping with him, aren't you? You've let him take my place!"

"You fool! He's a ghost, he can't lay a hand on me—you more than anyone should know that!"

"He can't, can he? Not even for a little kiss?" Richard shouted as he grabbed Carolyn roughly by the shoulders and pulled her into his embrace. He pulled her chin up to tilt her mouth to his, and forcefully kissed her.

Carolyn found herself too stunned from Richard's ghostly touch to fight him. All that filled her mind was the realization that a ghost **_could_** physically touch her—why had Captain Gregg not ever done so?

Richard abruptly let go of her and put her away from him with a pained look on his face. During the kiss, Carolyn had not responded to him at all, not even to struggle. This fact so surprised him that he did not even notice the loud rumble of thunder mar the otherwise sunny day.

She hadn't kissed him back, she hadn't tried to get away—it had been like embracing a rag doll. Finally, Richard understood that if his kiss could inspire no emotion in Carolyn at all, that he had indeed lost her forever.

Looking down at the sand, a shamefaced Richard mumbled, "Again, Carolyn, I find myself in the position of having to apologize to you. I'll go—you needn't concern yourself that I'll be back."

"I'm sorry too, Richard, I wish our marriage had worked out—you'd still be alive today if it had. After all, I did love you—once. But my life has moved on and I've found happiness. I honestly wish the same for you."

"Thank you, Carolyn. Um, I know I really haven't the right, but may I ask a favor? Can I stay around until Candy and Jonathan get home from school and see them one last time?"

"Well, all right," Carolyn answered a bit apprehensively as the pair walked back to the house.

******************************

Captain Gregg had moved to the widow's walk when Carolyn and Richard left for the beach, in order to be better able to survey the situation. Had it been any other man, he would have felt no qualms in including himself in the discussion, even if Carolyn were the only one who knew of his presence. However, this situation was different, the man **_had_** been Carolyn's husband when he was alive, after all. No matter what, he did see the bonds of matrimony as sacred, though he had not entered into them himself when he was alive. "Oh, but if only Carolyn was alive then, I gladly would have done so," the Captain sighed as he cursed the fates while pacing across the widow's walk.

The Captain watched the two, trying to read what was going on from their actions. For most of the conversation, it appeared innocent enough though he was unhappy it was taking place at all. But then he saw Richard take Carolyn in his arms and give her what looked to him like a very passionate kiss. 

It was all Captain Gregg could do to restrain himself from going down there and tearing Richard away from the woman he loved—who they both loved, obviously. The rumble of thunder was the only signal of his extreme dismay, and a rather inadequate signal it was. He was so distraught at the sight that it didn't even occur to Captain Gregg that Carolyn would find it strange that Richard showed that a ghost could hold her and he never had.

Despondent, the Captain left the widow's walk; he just couldn't watch them anymore. He reappeared in the wheelhouse, the little cubbyhole area left just to him, and tried to take his mind off the image which was now burned into it. He fiddled with his maps and charts and finally he threw some of them across the room in frustration and had what Carolyn always called a "temper squall." It was at the end of this tantrum, during which he basically trashed the entire room that he heard the front door open.

Captain Gregg materialized into the foyer and saw Carolyn close the door behind her. He sensed that the ghost of Richard was not in the immediate vicinity. She pressed her back against the closed door, closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of exhaustion. She had just had such a strenuous time dealing with a man she had every reason to believe she would never see again—she had not wanted to hurt him but also did not want him in her life. She wanted to keep Richard firmly in the past. 

Captain Gregg misconstrued her sigh as an outward sign of loving feelings he mistakenly attributed to Carolyn and Richard, and he all but felt his heart break. But pride would not let this show to Carolyn, and he casually asked how the weather was down at the beach.

"Much as it is up here, I expect," she replied with a note of surprise in her voice. She expected that Captain Gregg would be all over her at this point, figuratively at least, about the details of her conversation with Richard. And of course she wanted to address the issue of why the Captain was not "all over her," literally, now that she discovered that physical contact could be made between a ghost and a mortal. But she was too emotionally exhausted to pursue the matter at that time, intuitively realizing that she should broach the topic delicately, and she still had to gather herself together before the children got home. 

At least when she asked, Richard was thoughtful enough to leave Gull Cottage until the agreed upon time of 4:30PM. Carolyn explained to Richard that she needed to give the children a little advance notice to prepare them. That was just an excuse, she knew, as both children (Jonathan more readily than Candy) had adapted nicely to the presence of a ghost in their lives. But of course, Captain Gregg did not have to overcome a history of neglecting them as Richard did.

Walking into the kitchen, Carolyn poured a cup of coffee for herself and was about to sit down with it, when she remembered her manners and asked the Captain if he'd like one. Offended that she would begin ignoring his needs (though he honestly didn't 'need' a cup of coffee just then) so soon after Richard's arrival, he curtly refused and dematerialized, leaving Carolyn with her thoughts.

"Captain?" she called out, but he did not return. "Hmm," she said aloud to the empty room, "He'll be back." She sat down to try to put her jumbled thoughts about her current predicament in order. 

Captain Gregg reappeared on the beach, to the area where he saw Carolyn and Richard kiss. He kicked angrily at the sand and paced back up to the roadway. Since walking served to wear some of the anger and frustration out of him, he continued until he saw Candy and Jonathan heading towards him. When they spotted him, they ran the rest of the way to join him.

"Captain Gregg, look at the 'A' I got on my spelling test!" Candy shouted. "That's nothing, look at the gold star I got for my drawing of a schooner!" Jonathan yelled and both children pushed their schoolwork into his hands. Laughing, he looked over both pieces of paper and told the children that they were both very good. "But whose is better?" Jonathan said competitively, while Candy gave him a dirty look.

Captain Gregg, in order to smooth the waters between the pair, told them that the papers represented two types of work and could not be compared, but that he was proud that they were both such talented children. He had been about to refer to them as his children, but caught himself just in time. He then launched into the story of one of his sea adventures to entertain them on the walk home.

Captain Gregg got so involved in his story that he didn't sense that Richard Muir was once again in the vicinity. Richard watched the trio from a tree on the side of the road, and began following them once they passed him. It brought tears to his eyes to see how beautiful Candy and Jonathan were, and to realize that he had little to nothing to do with that happenstance. Just the way the children were so comfortable with Captain Gregg, the reflection of a bond he never managed to make with them. Suddenly, a look of profound loss crossed his face and he dematerialized from the area.

Richard reappeared next to Carolyn, who was looking out the bay window in the parlor and did not notice him until he spoke.

"Hello Carolyn," seeing her about to protest he held up his hands and continued quickly, "I know I said I'd stay away for another hour, but I wanted to tell you I changed my mind about seeing the children."

"What? Why?" Carolyn inquired perplexedly.

"I just saw them down the road with Captain Gregg--don't worry, they didn't see me. I hate to admit it, but they have a real bond with that guy—one I know I never had with them. I don't want to do anything to mess that up for them." Sadly, he admitted, "It's really too late for me, all the way around. They have a father in your captain friend and it would be selfish for me to come back into their lives, especially since I'm not going to stay here. I can at least not throw their lives into an upheaval by them seeing me."

"But they did see you," Carolyn cried in frustration, "You came to the both of them in their dreams. Since they both know that ghosts exist, they'll expect that you'll come back to them. I may not like it, but that's how it is."

The argument was decided by the slamming of the door as Candy and Jonathan tumbled in. They called their greetings to Carolyn and Martha while dropping their books on the chair by the door, and were headed into the kitchen for their after school snack when they heard their mother.

"Jonathan, Candy, come into the parlor, please," Carolyn called abruptly, but the children could hear the voice of a man in the background imploring her to be quiet. Jonathan turned and ran into the parlor, but Candy hung back—she recognized the voice as that of her father. 

Captain Gregg had just followed the children through the front door and deduced what was happening. "Candy, go on," Captain Gregg advised as gently as possible, merely out of a sense of propriety. "No, I don't want to see him," Candy replied in a nervous but defiant voice, and then tears poured down her cheeks as she ran out the door.

As Candy ran out of the door, Jonathan laid eyes on his father for the first time since Richard's funeral. Though the dream should have provided a little preparation, a look of astonishment still crossed his face and he was speechless for a moment. Richard, for his part, had not developed any skills since his demise which would help him deal with his children and he just gave Jonathan a feeble "How's it going, son?"

"Hi, uh, Daddy," Jonathan mumbled. "Did you come to take us away?" he added in a trembling voice, cutting to the chase of what was on his mind. "No, he didn't," Carolyn interjected firmly, leaving no question in anyone's mind that Richard had better not even think of such a thing. "Uh, that's right son, I just wanted to see you for a little while," he added sheepishly as he sat on the couch and motioned for Jonathan to come sit next to him. Tentatively, Jonathan sat by his father and Carolyn decided to leave the room and leave them to a father and son talk.

Closing the parlor door behind her, she asked the Captain where Candy was. "She just ran out the door, she said she didn't want to see him," answered Captain Gregg. Carolyn grabbed her jacket and went to the door to go in search of her daughter, and the Captain asked if she'd like his assistance.

"No, thank you, but I will want a word with you later," Carolyn replied meaningfully, thinking about her recent discovery that a ghost could touch her, "Just please keep an eye on things here." She wanted Captain Gregg's explanation of that phenomenon, but her priority right now was her children's well being.

It didn't take Carolyn long to find Candy scrunched up in a little ball by the shoreline. She knelt by Candy's side and took her daughter into her arms to comfort her. "Why is he back?" Candy gasped between sobs.

"Sweetheart," Carolyn gently brushed the tears from Candy's cheeks, "your daddy misses you and he just wanted to see you again.

"Oh, come on, Mom—Daddy couldn't be bothered with us when he was alive," retorted Candy perceptively. "I know," began Carolyn, a note of sadness in her voice as acknowledgment of her daughter's pain, "You're right, but sometimes people make mistakes and they need to be forgiven. He's not going to stay around, he just wanted to visit and see you two, to see how you've grown. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I think you'll feel better if you just talk to him."

Carolyn sat quietly, watching the wheels turn in Candy's head as she thought over her mother's words, and then she agreed to go back to the house to see Richard.

When they got back to Gull Cottage, Carolyn held the parlor door open for Candy to enter, which also gave her a chance to see how it was going with Richard and Jonathan. She noted that Jonathan seemed to be taking the situation in stride but Richard still looked awkward, a state which was not eased by Candy's entrance into the room.

"You're so beautiful, Candy," Richard said, and then added, "Carolyn, thank you—you were right about the kids." Candy sat down on the other side of Jonathan, and Carolyn left the room to help Martha prepare dinner.

After about a half hour, Candy came into the kitchen, where Carolyn was busy filling Martha in on all the details of the day as they worked in the kitchen. "Mom, Daddy's leaving, he wanted me to get you so he could say goodbye."

"Excuse me, Martha," Carolyn headed for the door, and then turned back. "Would you like to say hello to Richard?" she added as an afterthought, but Martha shook her head and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. Martha only too clearly remembered the pain Richard had brought on Carolyn and the children. If she had her way, she would have thrown him out of the house, ghost or not. She was still astonished that Captain Gregg had not done so himself, and she shook her head and went back to preparing the dinner.

Carolyn put her arm around Candy's shoulder and they went into the parlor.

They found Richard at the fireplace, admiring the ship in a bottle that Jonathan had built with the Captain's help. As he put it back on the mantle, he looked up at Captain Gregg's portrait. Richard shook his head slightly as a pang of jealousy hit him—Daniel Gregg was one lucky man to have everything that he had so blithely thrown away, and was obviously smart enough to appreciate and cherish it.

"Candy, Jonathan, I'm glad that you both let me see you," Richard began awkwardly, "Your mom has done a great job raising you, and I'm very proud of you." Kissing each one on the head, he said, "I know I didn't often show it, but I love you both, and I always have."

"Daddy, are you coming back again?" Jonathan asked with a lump in his throat. "Um, I don't think I'll be able to," Richard replied, and at seeing the sad looks on his children's faces, "It's kind of hard to get up here. Just like your captain's place to haunt is this house, mine is in Philadelphia and I'm really supposed to stay there. But I'll try."

Richard went over to where Carolyn was standing by the door. Not wanting a big scene, Carolyn said in a kindly voice, "I hope you find some happiness, Richard."

Nodding his head in understanding, he thanked her again for letting him see the children and before he dematerialized, looked her in the eye and smiled, "I hope I find something as special as what you have. You deserve only the best." He kissed her quickly on the cheek and was gone.

Carolyn and the children stood staring at the empty space where Richard had been just a moment before. Candy broke the silence, "Mommy, in a way I'm glad Daddy came back. It's the only time I can remember being able to really talk to him, and having him pay attention to us just like Captain Gregg does."

Sadly, Carolyn stroked Candy's hair, thinking about all her children had missed until they met the Captain. Candy's comment reminded her that she had not seen the Captain in quite a while and she wondered where he was. But now was not the time to have her questions answered—she had to help Martha finish fixing dinner and she sent the children outside so they could squeeze in a few minutes of playtime before it was ready.

At that very moment, Captain Gregg was in the wheelhouse breathing a sigh of relief that Richard Muir was finally gone. He noted with satisfaction that Richard probably would not be back, since as a ghost away from his home base, so to speak, his powers would have decreased significantly. Knowing that, he got some pleasure in thinking that he could easily have thrown Muir off his property, but then came to his senses—no matter what, the man was Carolyn's late husband.

"But not much of a man," he said to himself smugly, "he didn't tell Carolyn of his decreased powers when he's away from his home port." Then the Captain caught himself up short—he had never admitted to Carolyn this very same fact, and if he could help it, he never would. "In all honesty, maybe he's more of a man than I give him credit for—it did take a lot for him to come all the way up here." he muttered grudgingly, then added, "but not much more."

This put the Captain's mind to wondering what Carolyn was going to do now. Was she going to move back to Philadelphia to be with Richard? Were the feelings that drove Richard to come to Schooner Bay to find Carolyn reciprocated? These thoughts removed what few vestiges of arrogance Captain Gregg had left from the departure of Richard Muir, and he paced fretfully to and fro. 

He heard as Carolyn called for the children to come in for dinner. Usually, he made an appearance at the table, but he couldn't tonight—she would be able to read on his face that he was unnerved at the thought of losing her. But he did go into the foyer to listen unnoticed to their conversation.

Captain Gregg noticed that there was none of the usual lively banter at the table. The Muirs seemed very introspective and what little conversation there was, none of it was about Richard. It was as if the whole experience was so overwhelming that they couldn't put their thoughts about it into words. 

Once dinner was finished, Candy and Jonathan went to do their homework without even the slightest argument. Carolyn sat alone in the parlor and occupied herself with some mending after the dinner dishes were washed. When the Captain still had not appeared, she then took a walk down to the beach, thinking that a moonlight stroll would draw the Captain out for sure. It did not, and Carolyn was getting rather disconcerted about where Captain Gregg might be.

She walked back to the house when she noted that it was almost the childrens' bedtime. As she tucked them in, a frown crossed Jonathan's face as he asked, "Mommy, where's Captain Gregg? We haven't seen him since he walked us home after school."

"I don't know," she answered with a note of vexation in her voice. She had waited the better portion of the day to speak to him, and was not in any mood to put up with his ghostly games. "I'm sure he'll be around tomorrow, darling. Now both of you, go to sleep. You've had a big day today."

Closing the door to their bedroom softly behind her, Carolyn ascended the stairs to the wheelhouse. She knew Captain Gregg had a tendency to get annoyed if his private sanctum was invaded, but he clearly was avoiding her and she wanted to face him about why he had never touched her. "All this time, we could have had something more," she muttered under her breath as she opened the door. "Captain?" she called softly, and when there was no answer, "Captain, you come out here this instant!" Still he did not appear, and seeing that her efforts were fruitless, she went to her bedroom. She was somewhat astonished at the total disarray of the usually orderly room, and pondered what the Captain had to be so annoyed about.

Dejectedly, she began preparing for bed, her mind trying to understand why he was rejecting her. It must have been just a game for him, she said to herself. I don't know how I could think that he wanted to hold me just as much as I wanted him to. He probably hoped I'd go back to Philadelphia with Richard, now that he's tired of me.

She pulled her robe tightly around her slender shoulders and walked out to the balcony. Try as she might, she could not make sense of the whole situation and the emotions of the day were quickly catching up with her. Finally, in despair she pounded her fist against the railing and sobbed, "Blast it, Captain, why couldn't you want me as much as I want you? How could I have been so wrong?"

In hearing her plaintive words, Captain Gregg realized he had misunderstood the entire situation—that Carolyn wanted to stay here with him, and was not going to go off with Richard. He cursed his stupidity for not trusting that she knew she really belonged at Gull Cottage—and with him.

"Madame, I apologize for being among the missing today," Carolyn whirled around at the sound of his words, and self consciously brushed the tears from her cheeks. "I…I missed you, Captain," she murmured bashfully.

Captain Gregg strode out onto the balcony and took his place next to Carolyn. "Well, I see that your husband has left—I hope you had a nice visit," he offered unconvincingly. Carolyn's face broke out in a big smile at the Captain's transparent pretense that he cared anything of the quality of Richard's visit, and she quickly turned away to hide it.

"Actually, Captain, I don't think you can say that Richard is my husband anymore. After all, our vows were 'until death do you part'… not that we were all that close before he died."

"So then you are not going to go with Richard," he stated, absorbing the information she gave him about the state of her former marriage with satisfaction. "Why would you think that I would? Unless you're trying to tell me that you want us to go," Carolyn countered with trepidation.

"Certainly not, Mrs. Muir, however, I did see him kissing you on the beach," he growled, getting annoyed again at the merest thought of that incident.

"Speaking of kissing," Carolyn shook her finger at the Captain, "that reminds me…" She then reached her finger out tentatively and touched him gently on the nose, much as she did when she first saw Sean Callahan. "I **_can_** touch you," she said in amazement, as they both felt what was like an electric current pass between them. "Why is it that Richard was able to kiss me, and you never have?"

Though the Captain should have figured out that Carolyn would have been curious about that fact, he hadn't considered the situation from that angle since he was so blinded by rage that the kiss happened at all, and he was caught speechless. 

He turned guiltily from her, looked out to the ocean, and finally spoke, "Rest assured, Mrs. Muir, it was not because I didn't want to kiss you. I've wanted to kiss you from the moment I first saw you—to make love to you every night." Carolyn blushed at his candor and lowered her eyes modestly, but curiosity got the better of her, and she murmured, "Why didn't you? It's what I wanted, too."

Now it was the Captain's turn to be taken aback by her frank reply—in his day, women did not speak of their desires so openly. But now that it was in the open, all of the feelings pent up by the pair since they met were finally bursting out.

"You don't understand," the Captain replied evasively, "You have to realize that I couldn't have stopped at just one kiss."

"Oh, but I do understand," Carolyn gave him a coy smile which made his eyes widen in shock as she reached up to stroke his beard.

"MADAME! Please, control yourself," he said, reaching up reluctantly to take her hand away. "I won't allow this to get out of hand. I have no right to make love to you unless we're married, and as you know that's an impossibility. I would never take advantage of you—I have too much respect for you."

Disappointed, Carolyn looked at Captain Gregg in confusion. "So what are we going to do? It's like a dream come true for me to discover at last that we can touch—please, you can't take that away from me now. I thank you for protecting my honor by wanting to marry me before we made love, but I'd even sacrifice that in order to finally be completely yours."

Looking at the passionate expression on Carolyn's face and hearing her words, Captain Gregg's resolve was sorely tested, and it took every bit of restraint he had to prevent himself from taking her right there on the balcony. 

"Mrs. Muir," the Captain replied in a cold remote voice, "I have to do whatever is necessary to see that that doesn't happen, no matter how much we love each other. It's for the best." Carolyn saw a look of intense longing and sadness mixed with steely determination in Captain Gregg's eyes as he said those words, and then he disappeared.

"Captain Gregg," Carolyn shouted in frustration, "You come back here now! Don't you dare do this! CAPTAIN! Blast it, you had better rematerialize right now!"

Carolyn ran back into the bedroom, quickly scanning the room to find him, and then heard a knock on her door. She flung it open to find Martha standing there. "Mrs. Muir, are you alright? I heard you calling out."

"I…I'm fine," Carolyn said distractedly, and she ran past Martha to the wheelhouse. She frantically searched every inch of the room, calling out for the Captain, but to no avail—he was not going to appear.

Carolyn descended the stairs morosely, leaning against the railing for support. The day had taken its toll on her, she could not believe that so much could happen in such a short period of time. Of course, weighing most heavily on her mind was the loss of the Captain so soon after she crossed the last barrier keeping them from being as close as they both wanted to be. The fear that he was gone forever clutched at her heart.

Sleep would not come to Carolyn that night, and she knew it. Instead of another night tossing and turning, she decided to just curl up in a chair on the balcony. She knew it was fruitless to try and chase the Captain, as he could be hiding anywhere.

The night air was chilly but she did not feel it. Her mind went a mile a minute trying to figure out what they could do. "Him and his blasted honor!" Carolyn cursed more than once that night, "how dare he make the decisions for the both of us without considering what I want." 

But she knew deep down that the decision was borne of his love for her, his need to protect her--demonstrated in his 19th century way. "He should get into the 20th century—it's the 1970's for Pete's sake, everybody's living together without getting married, or they're writing their own vows if they are getting married."

Their own vows—the words rang in her ears as she said them, and her face lit up and she clutched the chair arms in excitement as an idea popped into her head. Why couldn't they have their own private ceremony, just the two of them taking their marriage vows before God, and promise themselves to each other. She found she was shaking with excitement as she paced back and forth on the balcony, the idea getting better and better as it developed in her mind. Before she knew it, the sun rose over the horizon, and with the plan firmly ensconced in her mind she fell exhausted in her bed--a smile on her lips.

"Well, well, you decided to get up at last," Martha joked, "At least you look like you're doing a lot better than you were last night."

"The children have left for school, I suppose?" 

"Yes, I got them all packed up and shipped them off a couple of hours ago. They wanted to say goodbye to you but I told them to let you sleep. I figured you needed it."

Carolyn knew that Martha was trying to pry information out of her concerning the events of the evening before, but she would not take the bait. Instead, she countered with a query of her own, trying to look as nonchalant as possible, "By the way, you haven't seen the Captain around anywhere today, have you?" 

"No, can't say as I have. It's kind of strange, now that I think of it. He usually pops in to wish the kids a good day at school."

Attempting to keep the disappointment out of her voice, Carolyn replied, "Well, only if you should think of it, of course, but if you see him tell him I have something to discuss with him."

Martha peered at Carolyn's face but she did a good job of keeping a disingenuous look on it—but Martha could not help feeling that something was up. However, she nodded her assent to Carolyn's request.

Carolyn puttered around the house, one eye always on the lookout for the Captain. By the time lunch rolled around, Carolyn was frantic with worry, consumed by fear that Captain Gregg had come to the conclusion that his permanent absence was the only way to protect her honor.

Martha served up some of her delicious crab cakes for the noon time meal, but Carolyn hardly tasted a bite as she worked on a plan to let the Captain know of her idea. "Blast," she said under her breath several times, not realizing she was doing it until she caught Martha looking at her strangely. Carolyn gave her a sheepish grin in response and concentrated on finishing her lunch quickly.

A post-lunchtime search of every room in the house failed to turn up Captain Gregg, and Carolyn decided she needed to clear her head and thought a walk on the beach would be just the ticket to do that.

Carolyn knew she would feel better if she was just straight out angry with Captain Gregg, but her anger was tempered by her deep love for him, and vexation over knowing he was doing what he thought best for her. It was easy for her to think to herself that she would have him on any terms, even if that meant that they could never physically touch again—but she was honest enough with herself to know that wouldn't work. She wanted him and his love in every way possible, and she knew the Captain felt the same. 

Her idea was their only hope, but it wouldn't have any chance of working if she could not tell him about it. At the end of her walk, she decided that she would write him a letter and leave it on his desk in the wheelhouse. She was not thrilled to have to present her idea in that way, because she would not be there to debate any problems he possibly could find with it, but there was no other way.

That evening, she asked Martha to keep Candy and Jonathan out of her hair after dinner, as she had a crucial writing project that required her undivided attention. Carrying a mug of tea, she closed the door to her bedroom and started her letter. More than four hours passed until she reread the final draft of the letter and signed her name at the bottom, at last satisfied that it presented her idea in the best possible light.

Stiff as a board, she rose from her chair and stretched her back, now that she noticed it was aching from sitting so long. She took an envelope from her desk drawer, tucked the letter in it and sealed it with a blob of wax. Quietly she stole out of her room, noticing that the house was dark and the children obviously in bed, and she went to the wheelhouse and placed the letter atop his charts, propped up so it was easily visible. She called out to the empty room, "Captain, can you hear me? Please come back and read my letter." As Carolyn took a last look around the room before leaving she whispered forlornly, "Please come back to me."

Carolyn changed and slipped into bed, barely daring to breathe or make any other noise that might prevent her from hearing the Captain open the envelope. She knew it was insane to think that she would be able to hear the rustle of paper from the room above her, but she desperately wanted some kind of confirmation that the Captain had received her letter. Finally exhaustion overtook her and she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

It was a full moon that night and the moonbeams fell gently across her sleeping countenance, her golden hair glimmering. It was to that sight that Captain Gregg appeared, the unopened envelope clutched in his hand, the name "Daniel" written in her fine hand upon it. He looked tenderly down at her, much as he did that first night she spent in Gull Cottage--in his bed, he thought possessively. "My love," he whispered as he dematerialized from the room.

Captain Gregg reappeared in the parlor and took a seat near the fireplace. He turned on the table lamp, broke open the wax seal on the envelope, and unfolded the letter.

My Dearest Daniel,

I am writing this letter in the hopes it will reach you. I waited all day for you to come back so I could tell you my idea, and I just can't wait anymore as I think it's the answer we're looking for, and I had to reach out to you somehow. I would rather have told you of this directly, but this will have to do. I just pray that you have not left us forever.

I love you, Daniel, and I believe you know that; as I know that you love me. I also know that your absence stems from your love for me and doing what you think is best. However, I cannot live without you in my life, especially since I now know that we are not restricted in any way from demonstrating our love to each other fully, except by the fact that we cannot get someone to bond us together in marriage.

I realize we cannot just walk into a church or call a justice of the peace and get married. For a moment I considered asking Claymore, but I knew that you would never want him to officiate at our wedding. 

I thought that as an alternative we could still take our vows, by ourselves, in front of the one witness who really matters—God. I think if we pledge our eternal love and devotion to each other in front of God, that he would bless our union, and we will have the promise of our vows between us to unite us forever.

Please consider my idea. I cannot even face how bleak the future would be without you in my life.

All my love forever,

Carolyn

Captain Gregg placed the letter gently on the table beside him. Pensively, he pulled a cigar from his pocket and lit it, and paced back and forth in front of the fireplace. The possibility of being united as one with Carolyn was too much to hope for, but he wanted to be sure that it would in no way be disrespectful to her. He thought briefly of any men she might meet in the future, but knew that she was not one to break her marital vows—he also knew the depth of her love for him, and knew she would not want to. 

He knew now that he should have told her of the fact that they could physically connect long ago, once he was sure of her love for him. But it was only when he got this letter that he knew for sure that she wanted to be his for all eternity. He tucked the letter in his pocket and went to his wheelhouse. 

The Captain took a key from a peg and used it to open a dust covered chest half hidden in a corner. The lid's hinges squeaked loudly despite his attempts to open it as quietly as possible. He pulled a small black box from under some linens and lifted the cover, smiling at the sight of its contents. He snapped the box shut and tucked it into his pocket then went to the master bedroom. He slipped silently through the door and sat by the telescope, waiting patiently but eagerly for her to awaken.

A few hours later, with the sun gently streaming into the room, Carolyn began to stir. Captain Gregg saw that and moved to the side of her bed. She opened her eyes to the sight of her Daniel looking down at her and she gasped in pleasure and surprise. "You came back!" she exclaimed, "Oh, I missed you so much."

"I will not allow you to miss me ever again, Carolyn." He knelt by her side as she sat up on the edge of the bed, and clasped her hand in his. The Captain looked intensely into her eyes as he inquired, "Will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

Tears of happiness brimmed over in her hazel eyes as she enthused, "Yes, oh yes, Daniel." A smile crossed her lips as he stood up and drew her to her feet. Tenderly, he tilted her face up to his and brushed the teardrops from her rosy cheeks, and kissed her soft lips. 

Things developed quickly after that. The school year was to finish in a couple of weeks and Carolyn quickly arranged for the children to visit her parents. Once those plans were settled, Carolyn took Martha aside and suggested in her most innocuous voice, "Why don't you take the opportunity to visit your family in San Francisco while the kids are in Philly?"

"But won't you be needing me here, Mrs. Muir? I hate to leave you all alone."

"Oh, of course I always need you around, Martha," she replied gaily, hugging the older woman, "but you deserve some time away to relax, and I thought this was the perfect time for it. I'm a big girl, I'll be just fine here."

"I know that, Mrs. Muir," Martha gave Carolyn a quizzical look. These past few days, Carolyn looked as if she was walking on air. Martha even noticed that the Captain was not as taciturn as he usually was.

"Then it's settled!" Carolyn spoke as if the decision was made, "You'll have a wonderful time." Martha was about to object, thinking that she really had not agreed to Carolyn's suggestion, but then decided to go with the flow, "You're right—a vacation is just what I need."

That evening, when Carolyn and the Captain met on the porch, she advised that their plans were falling neatly into place. Under different circumstances, Carolyn would not think of marrying without the presence of her children and Martha; but this was a unique situation and the pair had agreed that this exchange of marital vows was primarily a private, solemn promise to each other of eternal love and fidelity.

The morning of the departure of the children and Martha finally arrived. With much running around and confusion, Carolyn finally got everyone packed up and into the car, and drove them to the airport. Carolyn's mind was put at ease by the fact that Martha was also flying to Philadelphia and then would make her transfer to California from there.

Carolyn stayed at the gate, waving as she watched Martha and the kids walk to the airplane. Ordinarily, she would be very sad to watch them leave, but now she couldn't wait to jump back in her car and return to Gull Cottage. Two full weeks alone with the Captain—she was bursting with anticipation. 

She raced back to Schooner Bay, finally arriving at Gull Cottage with a loud screech of brakes and a cloud of dust brought up on the dry dirt road. She ran into the house, but stopped in her tracks as she entered the foyer. Feeling exactly like a new bride, a case of nerves suddenly overtook her and she leaned her back against the door for support. Befitting superstition, Captain Gregg was nowhere to be found that day, so he would not inadvertantly see her before their ceremony. A chill of anticipation went up her spine as she thought of the afternoon ahead, and she had to force her mind from the pleasant daydream and focus on what she had to do to prepare for it.

After a quick shower, she styled her hair so it fell softly around her face. She took the dress she bought especially for this occasion from her closet and looked at it admiringly in the sunlight. It was a pale green, with a full flowing skirt and the fitted top was in an old fashioned, off the shoulder style. Once Carolyn donned the dress, put on her makeup and placed a little spray of baby's breath in her hair, she studied herself critically in the mirror, turning to and fro.

Carolyn realized that, though she was excited about the marriage ceremony she and the Captain would share, she wasn't all terrified and filled with doubts as she was before she married Richard. This time around, Carolyn was confident she was doing the right thing—she had known for a long time that she and Daniel were kindred spirits. She smiled at her reflection, sure that she looked fine and that Daniel would agree, and she descended the stairs. As she passed the figure perched on the bottom newel of the staircase, she noticed that he was holding a small bouquet of wildflowers tied with a white antique lace ribbon. She pulled them from the figure's hand and stroked her cheek against them, breathing in their sweet essence, reflecting on how lucky she was to have found a man like Captain Daniel Gregg.

Meanwhile, down on the beach, Captain Gregg paced impatiently. He wished that they had set the time for earlier in the day. He had waited more than a lifetime for a woman like Carolyn, he couldn't wait to make her his. As in reply to his fervent longing, he looked once again towards Gull Cottage and finally saw Carolyn walking towards him, as she decided she couldn't wait for the appointed time either. His eyes started to get misty when he saw how stunningly beautiful she looked, and he held out his hand to her as she neared. As their eyes met, they both knew that the promises they would make to each other that sunny day would last for all eternity.


End file.
